Who wears a wallet chain?!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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