he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
