I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
