We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize