Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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