Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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