If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
