Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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