u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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