Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
