Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you win again, gameday.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
