me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
