What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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