Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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