He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Someone shattered a urinal.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
