This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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