why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
