Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Panties = found
Randomize
