Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
