Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
