idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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