Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
