I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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