Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
