On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
