The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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