I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
FUCK WHALES
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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