u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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