Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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