Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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