You can't special order awesome
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
