i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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