Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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