Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
