Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
