Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

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(412): I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches http://tfl.nu/0tvi

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(417): View more from Missouri

true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

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(417): true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever! http://tfl.nu/5efq

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(702): View more from Nevada

Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.

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(702): Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever. http://tfl.nu/0wgs

Replies (18) Good night (4230) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."

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(250): He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that." http://tfl.nu/vmd9

Replies (37) Good night (1287) Bad night (5355) Order T-Shirt
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(903): View more from Texas

The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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(903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while. http://tfl.nu/y23x

Replies (21) Good night (7248) Bad night (1620)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

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(319): Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100. http://tfl.nu/5iyq

Replies (12) Good night (2355) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

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(814): Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis. http://tfl.nu/uw51

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(269): View more from Michigan

I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

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(269): I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch http://tfl.nu/4tdt

Replies (10) Good night (2627) Bad night (1119)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.

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(763): Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up. (763): I just baked them cookies. We're friends now. http://tfl.nu/27t6

Replies (10) Good night (2507) Bad night (492)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.

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(603): I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zhxc

Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (1276)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Sounds like the perfect vacation

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(609): My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days (1-609): Sounds like the perfect vacation http://tfl.nu/rgtv

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(802): View more from Vermont

Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents

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(802): Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents http://tfl.nu/oucv

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(217): View more from Illinois

what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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(217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo

Replies (9) Good night (517) Bad night (913)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!

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(608): Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know! http://tfl.nu/hgdr

Replies (2) Good night (191) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.

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(720): I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/epbn

Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

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