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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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• (607): View more from New York

  Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Not even the dog will look at me anymore.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.

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• (716): View more from New York

  If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?

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