I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.