Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Who died my cat blue again?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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