I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.