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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  What'd you say?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I told him I was sleep driving

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell him to stop quoting family guy

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.

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• (+32): View more from Belgium

  Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.

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• 

  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (818): View more from California

  lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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• (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  In theory, it seemed like it would work.

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