if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
