got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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