If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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