What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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