Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
