Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
