I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
