i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize