Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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