He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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