she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
