I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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