well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
