So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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