I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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