I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im six kinds of drunk right now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
vagina is talking i cant
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
