can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
