I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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