Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
