I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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