The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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