He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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