I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
