i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize