Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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