Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im six kinds of drunk right now
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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